My name is Rick and this is my story:I was married to a woman for eight years who has two children from a previous marriage (me being her third husband) and whose ex-husband provides substantial support for his kids. We were always civil with each other, and there was never any fighting, hitting or yelling.
One day out of the blue, two weeks before my step-daughter’s 16th birthday, my wife went to the police with a false story of abuse against my step-daughter which resulted in my leaving the matrimonial home on a moment’s notice and criminal charges being laid against me. After going through all the different stages of emotions from disbelief, humiliation with being arrested, fingerprinted and photographed, anger, betrayal, and thousands of dollars in legal fees, I went to court for my trial date and my wife didn't show up; even after she went to the police one week before the trial date and embellished her accusations against me. All charges were dropped, but I did not get my day in court, which I wanted more than anything.
I have since been told by my neighbors that her boyfriend would show up right after I left for work and would leave the house about 10 minutes before I returned home. (She did not work and was home all day long. I had a 150km drive each way to and from work.)
I paid the mortgage, taxes, house insurance, life insurance, her car insurance, credit card and other debt payments etc for 7 months after I left the home but stopped as I was getting deeper and deeper in debt as I also had my own expenses (rent, food etc) to look after. After I stopped paying these things, my wife took me to court for temporary support. The judge awarded her $10,000 in retroactive support payments plus told me I had to pay $1000 per month spousal support as well as $683 per month in child support for a total of $1683 per month! (I make only a modest income.) Remember that these were not my children and the father was paying support for them. On top of all this, the judge also awarded her exclusive possession of the matrimonial home and contents, many of which were my belongings that I owned before we were married. (I have requested that she return these items to me but she has refused.) Finally, I was ordered to make the monthly payments on our joint line of credit, other credit card debt and life insurance premiums.
My wife has refused to comply with my lawyer’s request to provide me with my financial documents that were left in the home so that I can prove the assets I had at the time of marriage, and she is also withholding information that would prove that she has hidden some assets in order to get a bigger settlement from me. I cannot get these records from the bank as they destroy all documents after 7 years. Even though she has done all of these things, she has been rewarded by the courts for her behavior.
To put the courts ruling and how it has affected me into perspective, I work on commission and have about 3 good months per year. However, the judge made her ruling based on my previous year’s T-4 which does not take into consideration my widely variable weekly paycheques. The courts automatically garnishee my wages (50%) every week. Most months I do not earn enough to make up the $1683 that was ordered. But on those rare weeks where I have earned good commissions, they take more than 50% of my pay to make up the difference! This is a punishing ruling that has put me in the predicament of being inches from being forced to declare bankruptcy. Also, since I have been late with some debt payments, my credit rating has now been affected and my line of credit has been suspended. I am forced to live with my parents while she enjoys living in the matrimonial home and I cannot afford to even rent an apartment. The system is broken and needs to be fixed.
As a result of my ordeal, here are a few things that I have discovered:
- There are no repercussions for one spouse to falsely accuse another spouse of abuse, even after the charges have been dropped
- The Crown Attorney does not care about justice or truth, but rather only that they win a case regardless of the truth
- One spouse can withhold another spouse’s personal property without being reprimanded and without being forced to return same
The time has come to look at the fairness of the family law system, as it is destroying many lives of hard-working Canadians. In closing, I ask that you put yourself in my position and act according to your sense of conscience. What would you do had this happened to you?
- At a hearing for temporary support, a judge can make a ruling based strictly on what the lawyer for the applicant has to say, without regard for the respondent’s financial circumstances based on their supporting documentation, which the judge will likely not read, thus pushing the respondent towards possible bankruptcy
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